Following the Red Thread

Red Thread #1

"Everywhere, all around the world."

Dear Fellow Weavers,

Welcome to my first-ever blog. If you're reading this, thank you for finding your way here. My name is Isa, I'm a 17-year-old girl from Costa Rica who loves writing, but that doesn't mean I'm the best at it. I often find myself misspelling words, confused over how to put sentences together, and mentally blocked from writing. But I have always liked challenges, and maybe that's why I like writing so much, because no matter what, it's something I can always keep improving, and even though many aspects of life can be improved, by far the one that requires the most betterment in my life is writing, because it's a form of self-expression and that turns out to be difficult for me.

You may think I struggle with self-expression because I have a fear of rejection, or because I care too much about what other people might have to say about my judgment, but the truth is, if you know me, you know I'm a loud person; I actually express my opinions more than I should, and that has taken a toll on me at times.

Like when I was between the ages of eleven and thirteen, those were probably the worst years of them all. And I mean it, whether I was happy or mad, or sad, I expressed myself in a state in which I didn't really care what I said, and that led me to make poor choices of words, hurting others, or hurting myself. And even though I don't mind what other people say about how I think, I do care about what I say about other people, since this shows what type of person I am.

Thankfuly I don't need to worry about that anymore, I have grown up, and I'm no longer the compulsive thirteen-year-old who didn't think before speaking. But still, I struggle, not much with keeping my emotions in check now, but rather with how confusing expressing yourself can be at times.

I believe self-expression is of a complicated nature, because even though it means "the expression of one's own personality: assertion of one's individual traits" (according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary), it also involves being highly self-aware. Without being self-aware and having self-knowledge, self-expression becomes all the more confusing.

And lately, I feel I've been lacking self-awareness and self-knowledge. This doesn't mean I don't know what type of person I am or what I want in life. I actually think I know myself pretty well. Throughout these last few years, I feel I have really taken a pretty shape as a person, and I am proud of who I am trying to become. But I lack consciousness and mindfulness in the present.

I feel this is because time is going by so fast, too fast, so fast that I'm not able to let any experience sink in, and I personally learn and gain knowledge through experineces whether they are good or bad, and not being able to just sit and think about my life, has been driving me crazy.

But that is all my fault, for not making time to sit down and just think, like I used to.

The process of 'thinking' for me is like starting to knit a sweater.

A sweater isn't made all at once. It's made one stitch at a time. Thinking is similar. Rarely do we arrive at a complete idea immediately. We build it thought by thought until, eventually, something meaningful takes shape. Some may call this overthinking, but in my opinion, overthinking only ever happens if you're worried about something; if you just like to sit in peace and just think for a long time, I would prefer to call this analyzing. No matter how big the topic or how small, or how many times it goes back and forth from one topic to another, or how many switches there are between topics, it helps you organize your thoughts. And that allows you to be mindful and concious which makes self-expression come easily, because you already know what YOU are thinking.

And again, what you think about doesn't have to be complex, because at the end of the day, self-expression can be as simple as smiling or as complex as voicing your opinions through architecture.

Thats is why I started this blog. Because I want to make the time to sit down and think again, one day it may be for fifteen minutes, another day it may be an hour. I've never sat for more than maybe an hour and a half (and this usually only happens during road trips), and I'm definitely not planning to sit more than an hour max, because I barely have time to eat, sleep, study and exercise, so that means don't expect too much from my blog. One day, I could post the most incredibly relevant blog you'll ever read, and then the next, the biggest joke of a blog ever.

Honeslty I just hope that whoever does read, enjoys whatever it is that I wrote. I want to share a bit of myself through this blog, and use it as a tool of self-expression, so that my Red Thread can form part of another person's tapestry. "No matter the distance, time, or obstacles, the thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break." That same happens with knowledge and awarenes once you achieve them, they can't be taken away, because the one responsible for taking care of them is you.

If you want to take a closer look at who I am, feel free to look at my portafolio which can be entered through the top right "+" sign.

But this would be all for today

Until our threads cross again,

With love,

Isa 🧶💌🪷